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Archive for November, 2017

Me Too

I have been overwhelmed by the number of #metoo posts I have seen in my news feed in recent weeks. I am willing to bet I don’t know a single woman who has not been abused, harassed, or raped. How is that possible in this day and age? This is the 21st Century, how have we not evolved? Sadly, we have not. But why is this problem so prevalent? It may be that sexual abuse has always been a problem. Historically woman were taken as prizes in war, raped, traded, married off, used as chattel, and in general treated as second class citizens. Woman have been taught to be nice, not make waves, keep our heads down, not to dress provocatively, and to eat shit politely with a knife and a fork. None of these lessons have helped us or saved us. Woman are still beaten, raped, intimidated, fondled, grabbed, and killed at an alarming rate. From the boardroom to the back field, we are targets who are not allowed to fight back. Now we have a 24 hour news cycle which brings it to us, and social media.

How does this continue to be business as usual? There are those who wish to keep the status quo, keep the little woman in her place. I believe those people fear us. We are half the population of the world, that’s a hell of a voting block, a lot of money, a lot of power. Part of the reason women are kept down it men fear we will treat them as they have treated us for eons. Part of the reason is because if we are treated as equal, they might have to share the wealth with us, and the power. How sad. The patriarchy fears women. Even some women strive to maintain the status quo, out of fear.

This is the issue which must be changed. No longer can we keep quite, or discuss the abuse in whispers with other woman. No longer can we hide the bruises, wash away the semen and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I believe those days are over.

It is time to fight back, to name names, to press charges and to help others who are abused. No more hiding in the shadows. No more pretending the groper at the party didn’t really bother us. We must believe the woman who speaks out. We must create an atmosphere where women are safe to speak out. We must not allow the victim to be shamed. We must demand the abuser is served a steaming hot plate of justice. For judges who will not give appropriate sentences, we demand they be replaced.

When public officials declare woman cannot have abortions or birth control, we must replace them. Why? Because those laws are designed to keep women down, to take our power, to refuse us the rights to our own bodies.

We must call out those who treat women as objects, no matter where you see it. Believe women when they tell you they have been abused. Stand by them. If women stand together there is nothing we cannot do, no force on earth which can stop us. Demand justice, write, call, fax, and march.

Raise your children to be brave and to honor others. If you raise boys, teach them to treat others as they would like to be treated. Teach them to step in when they see a wrong being committed. Teach them to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Be an ally.

If you are raising girls, teach them they have value. Teach them how to throw a punch too. There was a time, when a man got “fresh” the woman slapped hell out of him. What happened to that? When my girls were in school, we took a self-defense course. It was designed to hurt the assailant badly enough so you could escape. I think often we don’t fight back because the abuser is bigger and stronger, we’re afraid. Once upon a time, there was a PSA which told women not to fight back when being raped, to avoid serious injury. Women don’t want to cause trouble or be in trouble. We have become afraid of the consequences. Heaven forbid we might get charged with assault ourselves. But wouldn’t it be worth it?

Learn how to defend yourself and then defend yourself, damn the consequences. Give a friend your bail money, just in case. Don’t take any shit. Yell back at men who cat call you. Above all, talk about it. Talk to each other, talk to the authorities, talk to HR at work. All these men who have perpetrated rape and been turned loose by judges, what about them? Post their faces and their stories everywhere, make sure they never get a job, an education, or a girlfriend for the rest of there miserable lives. We are not helpless.

New hash tag; #neveragain, #notwithoutmyconsent, #stopthesebastards. Together we rise.

Disclaimer: Women and girls are not the only victims, I know that. We owe it to the men who have been raped and abused the same fierce backup. I know #notallmen

 

 

 

 

 

 

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